There have been a couple weeks of silence here in the MuseoMusings world – things have been crazy. The job transition I wrote about previously is officially complete, and now that I’m a few weeks into my new gig I wanted to follow up with some musings on the process of starting and plugging into a new workplace.
My well-worn copy of HTWFAIP. Also a biography of Queen Elizabeth that I’ve been working on for what seems like a year now.
In the days leading up to starting at my new job I pulled an oldie but a goodie off my shelf to do some “how to be a good new employee and talk to people effectively” self-therapy. The book? How to Win Friends & Influence People by the late and great Dale Carnegie. I was specifically focused on the section titled “Ways to Make People Like You” because hey, I’m human. One of the things I wrote about in my last post is the great relationships you can form in museums with your coworkers. I feel like museums (and probably most nonprofits) are particularly primed for these kinds of close relationships – common interests, limited resources, a passion for the subject matter and an abundance of creativity have the power to draw a group of people together in a special way. It’s great being part of such a close community and it’s hard to leave one behind. But it’s even harder to be the new guy finding where and how you plug in. I’ve experienced this before, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have Carnegie’s advice for meeting people and building relationships running through the back of my mind as I did just that.
A quick note about How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Dale Carnegie in all his 1930s self-assuredness. Just looking at the guy makes me wish he was my friend.
This book is OLD. Like, for real – Dale Carnegie published its first edition in 1936. Some of my grandparents weren’t even born then. But what I think is so neat (and this is especially relevant to those of us who work in the social sciences) is that human impulses and interactions have largely stayed the same. Mannerisms and tricks to used by folks like Eleanor Roosevelt and Andrew Carnegie to build relationships eighty years ago are just as effective today in 2015. To put how long ago this book was written into perspective, here are some of things that were going on in the world when Dale Carnegie (unrelated to the steel baron) put pen to paper 79 years ago:
- Construction was completed on the Hoover Dam.
- Nazi Germany annexed the Rhineland.
- Peter and the Wolf premiered in Moscow.
- Thomas Jefferson’s head was dedicated at Mount Rushmore.
- The Crystal Palace burned in London (my fellow Museum Studies folks will appreciate this one).
- Stress is first recognized as a medical condition.
These tips are as old as Nazis and the Hoover Dam, folks. That’s how little we change. Anyway, back to what I was saying…
Test Driving Dale Carnegie
As I read through HTWFAIP, wrapped up my old job and began the new one I decided I’d test drive some of Carnegie’s prescriptions. Generally I consider myself to be a pretty well spoken, personable dude. I like people and I enjoy talking to them. In some instances while reading, I found myself skimming and nodding in agreement with Carnegie – sure, ask people about themselves. Sure, remember their names. Sure, don’t be a grouch. I do a lot of these things on a daily basis, but what I wasn’t doing was strategizing through a series of these actions to make sure I was being as effective a communicator as possible at all times. So, I did it. And, I’ve gotta say… it works.
My favorite two principles from the “Making People Like You” section are:
“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”
(I don’t think anyone other than Dale Carnegie could make “People like hearing their own names” sound so suave).
AND
“Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.”
Following that, here are my takeaways from the first two weeks at my new museum:
People really like it when you take the time to remember their names.
That’s pretty straightforward. But my space cadet brain combined with meeting at least 75 people in my first week on the job made this a challenge. What I found was that repetition and associating a person’s name with, well, anything that makes sense to my spazzy brain was and continues to be the key. My name-association tricks from the past couple weeks range from my favorite Netflix shows to Elton John songs to an obscure author who wrote one of my undergraduate political science textbooks (whatever works, folks. Seriously).
This made me chuckle. Disclaimer: none of my new coworkers are named Pat or have rat teeth. Also my pneumonic devices are much kinder. I promise.
If you provide them an opportunity, people are more than happy to talk to you about themselves.
At first glance, this sounds kind of sleazy. But my goal wasn’t to discover intimate personal details or debit card PINs or Social Security numbers. I just wanted to figure out how people relate to my new museum, what they love about their jobs and what common interests we might share. Since I like learning about other people, this has worked out pretty well. Did I remember everything (or even half) of what I took in over the past couple weeks? Other than their names, probably not. But as I try to assimilate into this institution’s smart, engaged and tight-knit community of museum professionals, my hope is that I’ll be able to build relationships on some of these introductory conversations in the months to come.
So there you go. For the most part, my transition is complete and in the next post I’ll actually write about museum things, I promise (I’m thinking an in-depth examination of meaning-making and organizational theory in the 21st century museum… not.) But relationship building in the workplace is something that has always interested me – especially when it comes to this often socially awkward and (ahem) nerdy profession us museum-ers have chosen.
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